Why we ruin the things we want.
Self-sabotaging. You can call it accidentally on purpose shooting yourself in the foot.
The fuel to this fire is fear. Trying to get that promotion you’re afraid you won’t get? Show up five minutes late to work after worrying all night about it. Wanting to lose weight but afraid of more diet failures and never reaching your goals? Eat a pizza the night before. Thinking about getting into a relationship but afraid you’ll just end up hurt again? Find something little to pick a fight over and blow it out of proportion.
Self-sabotaging distances us from the things we actually are wanting most. And we do it unconsciously. It’s your minds response to extreme fear and worry. There are many areas we use self-sabotaging as a defense mechanism to avoid pain and uncertainty, but I’m going to focus on why we do it in relationships here.
It’s easier to just end things early than risk abandonment later. Maybe the risk is just more than your heart can handle at the time? Maybe there’s some old wounds you need to heal before your heart could be courageous enough to love again, with a freedom of outcome.
