My First Year of Marriage Was Incredibly Difficult

My first year of marriage has been incredibly difficult. I don’t blame him for that I blame my mental health. My mental health decided to take a turn for the worst shortly after I said I do. I have not shared this with many people and I have been basically keeping to myself for an entire year except for family. I’ve barely even posted to social media. I just haven’t seen the point in it. In fact, I haven’t seen the point in anything.

I think one of the worst things you can do when you’re depressed is to blame your spouse. I’ve caught myself a few times thinking well maybe it’s him or something he is or isn’t doing. You can’t do that. You can’t make another person responsible for your happiness or even unhappiness. It’s not fair to them. Humans are designed for connection and relationships with others. But those relationships can only add to our happiness not be the entire source.

I have been battling depression and some anxiety for about a year now. It all happened right after I got married. Which sucks. It should have been the happiest year of my life but for some reason, my mind just took a nosedive into the deep end of depression. I have always struggled with big life changes. They seem to throw me out of whack for a while, even if they are good changes.