Hey Anxiety.

You see me? I’ve got you. All of you. All your thoughts and attention. You have things to do, but I don’t care. I demand attention. Now. In five minutes. Tonight. Tomorrow.

I’m stealing all your time and sucking the very life out of you. After all, you let me? You can’t totally blame me can you?

You’re weak and I know it. I’m going to remind you to worry about that job you think you’ll lose. Your health. Your life. Your relationships. Your abilities. Your money. If you tackle one, I’ll be sure to find another thing you can worry about. That’s my job afterall, to keep you busy. Keep you fearful. Keep you distracted from all that beauty around you. I will crush them all, if you’ll let me. I don’t care. Your peace of mind is not of my concern.

You can do your yoga, your long walks in the park, you can smoke, you can eat, you can go to the gym. You might silence me for awhile, but I am very strong. I always will find a way back to you.

Your life. It is more mine than it is yours. You don’t get to enjoy it, because I am holding it hostage in that the back part of your brain. I am increasing your fears and debilitating you in any way I can possibly find. You try to tell me to back off, chill out, calm down, but I persist. I am relentless. I never rest. I never stop.

I am anxiety.

Hey Anxiety,

You can go screw yourself. I am determined to grow stronger than you. So strong in fact that I don’t even notice when you walk in the room of my mind. I know it will happen. I know it takes time. Your days are numbered though.

Your place is coming to an end. I love myself enough. I know myself enough by now, to know I deserve a life without you.

I may fail. I will most likely fail several times at silencing your ugly incessant voice. But failure is only a detour on the way to success.

I can feel you fading now. I visualize you misting away like a vapor. Like a thing I used to hold onto. Something, in a strange way, I thought I needed. A prisoner in my own mind. I would’t dare live without you. I couldn’t imagine letting you go and just letting myself feel peace. I learned to live in your chaos. I got so used to it, that I didn’t know any other way. But I am ready now. Tomorrow we will start our divorce and it won’t end well for you. You are no longer welcome here. I realize now, that just ignoring you is not enough. I can’t just pull you like a weed. You are such an infection, that you’ll just grow right back, sometimes even stronger. I have to actually poison you. I’ll kill you with positive thoughts. I will train myself to grab you immediately and put you in your place with the truth. Feelings aren’t always facts, but you’d like me to think so. When you tell me I’m not enough. When you tell me to worry. I’ll just remind you of who I really am. I am strong. I am love. I am beauty. I am the mother. The friend. Lover. I am forgiveness. A woman of kindness and truth. You don’t get to tell me who I am any longer. I’ve learned the truth, and I simply have outgrown you. When you remind me of my past, I’ll just remind you of my future. I am calling the shots now. Get used to it.

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